Mater Dolorosa
by MaraudingMonster
Summary: Dolorosa tells Psionic about how she gained her title. Oneshot, implied one-sided Psionic/Dolorosa, I suppose!


It was a pleasant night. The moons were high in the dark sky, casting pink and green light down on the bustling trolls below. The group of four arrived at a small city inland, preaching to those who wished to listen. Signless and Disciple were tucked into an alcove off the side of a street, telling their stories to the young trolls sitting before them. Psionic was resting not far off, watching as the Dolorosa helped up a fallen child. She tied the little one's shoe and cleaned the dirt from his clothing, sending him off with a kind smile. As she returned to her seat next to him, a thought formed.

"Dolorosa, can I ask you something?" Psionic questioned, a wondering look on his face.

"Of course."

"How did you gain your title? Dolorosa means "grieving", doesn't it?" He asked, looking at her. He continued when she nodded. "But then... who, or what, are you grieving? I don't mean to pry," He added quickly, "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I was just curious—"

"It's quite alright," She stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, "I do not mind telling you. We're friends, after all," She smiled at him, "Let me tell you a story...

"It was long ago. I was still in training to be an attendant of the mother grub, as I was not yet of age. But I would be soon, and I had to begin thinking of a title to give myself. However, I couldn't think of one. Now, you see," She explained, "jadebloods have other tasks, aside from tending to the mother. One job is to care for grubs that have not spun their cocoons yet. Most do fairly soon after hatching, but there are always a few that don't want to right away.

"I remember it was one of the first broods I helped take care of. One of the grubs was this beautiful little girl. She was a purpleblood, the highest of those that remained. She fussed and hissed like all grubs do, of course. But she was really quite sweet," A wistful smile graced her lips as she recalled far back, "She played happily with the other grubs, and she was friendly to the caretakers. I was so awed by her, this little one, untainted by our cruel culture. Simply filled with childlike innocence, being herself, because there were no rules or restrictions," They were both grinning now from this beautiful thought, "She took a particular liking to me, and I to her. She meant so much to me.

"But you see, we weren't supposed to bond with the grubs the way she and I had, because they would never stay long. The others warned me against growing too close with her, but it was too late by that time. I already felt like a mother to her," Her smile slowly dropped, "I was still young, but _god, _I was such a selfish fool for not leaving her side when I could.

"Some of the others were cruel. You cannot avoid monstrous people in this society. A few attendants felt grubs that did not spin cocoons right away should simply be culled. They thought caring for them was a waste of time and work," She said as her tone turned bitter, "That is why others must claim the job right away; to protect them.

"A few of these people heard of my bond with this little one, and decided to teach me a lesson," She took a deep breath, her gaze far off. Psionic looked on with worry, listening intently. "So they threw her outside in daylight," It all came out in one breath. Psionic's eyes widened, shocked and horrified. He felt sick to his stomach. "I rushed out to save her. I tried, I really did. I tried so hard," Her voice tightened, almost breaking, "But by the time I returned to the caverns, it was too late..." She wrapped her arms around her waist. Whether in a motion to embrace herself, or to hold something small that was no longer there, he didn't know. "She died in my arms."

He wanted to reach out and hold her, tell her that her grub's in a better place, just make sure she's alright. God, he wanted to. But she was already leaning back into her seat, breathing deep, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"My wriggling day was not too long after. I was old enough that I had to take up a title. So I chose Dolorosa," She sounded a bit stronger now, "because I am a grieving mother. I grieve for my little girl who did not have to die. I grieve for all children who are mercilessly killed, and hope they can find peace."

Psionic didn't have to think twice after hearing her story. He vowed to himself that he absolutely _would_ make the world a better place, whatever the cost may be. Maybe then, Dolorosa wouldn't have to grieve anymore.

Sweeps passed. They were caught. The revolution was over.

They were pulled apart. He tried to stay with her, but they were too strong. Dolorosa was sobbing and screaming, cursing the monsters who tore the world asunder. Mourning another lost child.

"I'm sorry," Psionic managed to choke out through his tears. "I'm so sorry."

A guard smacked him, his head lolling to the side. An unspoken apology crossed his mind before the world went black.

_I'm sorry I failed you._


End file.
